Fucking picky.
Well, my christian friend was not satisfied with the conversion of my blog, but now my posts are to contain 'emotion' as well as christ. So, here's my new post.
Today as I was riding the bus, I EMOTIONALLY saw this really SLUTTY girl. It filled me with such APPREHENSION and CONFUSION, as I was not sure why anyone in their right MIND would look so slutty. So, I sat down beside her and asked, "Why are you so SLUTTY?" in my most CALM of voices. The SLUT gave me a STRANGE look, and told me to get away from her. Nodding, I said in a PERTURBED fashion, mostly to myself, "She must hate God." The SLUT ANGRILY spat after me, "I LOVE God, asshole!" but I knew she was lying because nobody who LOVES God would ever wear pants.
The End
God Loves You
(Unless You're Hungarian)
Today as I was riding the bus, I EMOTIONALLY saw this really SLUTTY girl. It filled me with such APPREHENSION and CONFUSION, as I was not sure why anyone in their right MIND would look so slutty. So, I sat down beside her and asked, "Why are you so SLUTTY?" in my most CALM of voices. The SLUT gave me a STRANGE look, and told me to get away from her. Nodding, I said in a PERTURBED fashion, mostly to myself, "She must hate God." The SLUT ANGRILY spat after me, "I LOVE God, asshole!" but I knew she was lying because nobody who LOVES God would ever wear pants.
The End
God Loves You
(Unless You're Hungarian)
posted by ☭CRUSH you. at 2:48 PM
4 Comments:
It was partly real, I exaggerated me having emotions, I actually asked her "Why do you hate Jesus?", then she asked "I don't hate Jesus, what are you talking about?" and I said "Well, you look really slutty, and Jesus hates sluts." and she gave me a funny look and was like "Get the fuck away from me you freak." and I responded with a sigh, shook my head and as I was moving away said in a stage-murmur "She must hate God.", then she shouted after me. Also, she was wearing a hat which didn't match her pants, which kind of disturbed me and was why she was singled out, and another irrelevant detail is that she was like 50 or 60 years old.
Also, I'm lying about this whole thing, I really shouldn't be trusted. =D
Hey, I did ride the bus today though, and this girl did talk to me about how God was nifty, and I said my God was better than hers and she asked me what God I had and I said Jehova and she didn't know who that was but she said her God was the only real one then I got off the bus.
Ergh... I never said your blog should contain Christ, and I'd certainly never make the mistake of asking that you show any human emotion. Despite that, though, I'm certainly glad you took it that way, since this stuff is freaking hilarious.
Just remember that you wear pants, too, heathen.
¡Keep up the good work, you Hungarian bastard!
I really don't know what you were thinking, probably something along the lines of "Jessus lives on this blog. You can probably trust Him!"
And Eric.... who said I was talking about you? Maybe I meant the.... neighbors. haHA, how do you like them apples, beotch.
Don't try and push your Hungarian ways on me, we both know perfectly well whose people it was that dug Jesus up and ate him after his body had aged to just the right jerky-like state, and it was you! You! You people! I hate you for what you did to poor dead jerky-Jesus.
Actually, you "said I was talking about you" (or, more appropriately, you said you were talking about me). So how do you like them apples, bitch?
Also, getting creative with biblical history might be fun, but you still can't use it to justify your fiery hatred of various ethnic groups. Nice try, however... bitch :)
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