I so just got spammed on myspace.
I got this message that was all this hawaiian chick telling me that "you caught my intentions." And I was like, "intentions? whose intentions did i catch?!" and I opened the message and she was all "i am pretty blah blah self esteem blah blah caring man blah blah... just o love me." so I was all "hey, that's what i do best: just o-love people. wait, wait no, i mean 'just smash people in the face with things'." I'm not sure what o-love is. But it sounds hot. I bet it's like, love, as experienced through the eyes of a donut that is being ripped apart by wild animals.
Man, now I want a donut so I can see o-love in action. Curse you myspace. I don't have a donut. Yet. I'll post more when I get a donut. I'll be right back. Seriously. Well, not right back. It'll probably be a few hours, or maybe days, I've got the attention span of a three year old who's been given repeated, savage skull beatings. Skull beatings. I bet that's not the right word. or wordss. screw it.
Oh, also I found out that the fountainhead? Not that good a book. There's this guy who always leaves tons of trailing ellipses (like this...) and was declared a homosexual by three people (yes, two of which was me.) and then there was this kid who waited for this other kid and then sprayed him with the hose, and I was like "Johnny you dumbass! He was standing on his front yard with a hose waiting for you! You should have seen that like a mile away! ...dumbass." which leades me to beleive I shouldn't try and read non-picture books because I get too involved. But really. Johhnny was a dumbass! Seriously!! He deserved to get beaten with that garden hose.
Man, now I want a donut so I can see o-love in action. Curse you myspace. I don't have a donut. Yet. I'll post more when I get a donut. I'll be right back. Seriously. Well, not right back. It'll probably be a few hours, or maybe days, I've got the attention span of a three year old who's been given repeated, savage skull beatings. Skull beatings. I bet that's not the right word. or wordss. screw it.
Oh, also I found out that the fountainhead? Not that good a book. There's this guy who always leaves tons of trailing ellipses (like this...) and was declared a homosexual by three people (yes, two of which was me.) and then there was this kid who waited for this other kid and then sprayed him with the hose, and I was like "Johnny you dumbass! He was standing on his front yard with a hose waiting for you! You should have seen that like a mile away! ...dumbass." which leades me to beleive I shouldn't try and read non-picture books because I get too involved. But really. Johhnny was a dumbass! Seriously!! He deserved to get beaten with that garden hose.
posted by ☭CRUSH you. at 10:16 AM
17 Comments:
Wow, this entry makes me seriously question whether or not you are on drugs.
O love? Hmm... You should have added the hawaiin girl and then when she trusted you, you could like take all her money or something.
And you should always keep doughnuts on hand so you can have one in cases like this one. Didn't you know that?
Hmm... Johnny in the fountainhead? Sure you were reading the right book??
How is it that this entry makes you question whether or not I'm on drugs, yet every other entry didn't?
Yes I am sure! Mister children was there, he can vouch for johnny's existance.
This entry just seemed more like it was written by someone on drugs than the others. Idk.
And ookay, I'll take your word for it.
I'm on drugs and this one scared me. Not scared like waking up without my penis scared, but scared like waking up to another day in the hell that is life scared.
I found it interesting. I know what you mean by that spam shit, I've experienced it before. And chicks from Hawaii don't have money, so he won't be able to steal it from her. All she can give him is a bunch of lays, and not the right kind.
*leis.
And I thought people in Hawaii had lots of money. It's such a huge tourist trap.
And he could always just sell the leis for money in America. People seem to love those things.
I hate when people correct my shitty spelling. Especially when I meant what I typed.
Okay, so pretend I just fixed it for my own benefit and not yours.
Oh ok, that's better.
I always thought people in Hawaii were actually savage super-cannibals, and all those stories about how Hawaii is a great vacationing spot are really there because our government needs to feed them TONS of sacrifices to keep them from ravaging the civilized world. But this girl seemed pretty nice, in her 'i have the intelligence level of a four year old' kind of way, maybe she and her family would declare me a heathen god, so instead of getting eaten I could have the honor of being hurled violently into a volcanoe.
But really. How non-savagely cannibalistic can these people be when they have the power of like fortty volcanoes at their disposal? (I know if I had the power of like forty volcanoes at my disposal, I'd certainly be a cannibal.)
And yes I do have problems with people who use ellipses, you dot-typing BASTARDs. It's not just ellipses though. When you trail your voice off aloud I want to smash your spines, too.
Myspace is crazy. It reminds me of blogger, if this site networked more and was the digital incarnation of a whore with a penis.
I warned you! I told you I knew where her site was! Did you beleive me though? Nooooo. Evan has to prove he knows where the site is. And while proving, I also found it neccessary to abusse the suicidal miscreant I found lurking upon that site.
Anyways, it's your own fault for being secretive and claiming that I am unable to search for sites within blogger. The lesson of the day? Evan never lies. Except when he does. (and that's when you want to watch out.)
.....they should have a group somewhere, these suicidal creeps. I want to be able to terrorize one to send a message to the rest. Damn them for being unorganized.
Oh, and I forgot the closing line from everybody's favorite superhero: "God's too afraid of me to show any mercy."
Really though, I think it's just that God doesn't like me, he's always doing shitty things like concealing the depressed ( all I want to do is change the 'de-' to an 'o-' ) and siccing both his servants and the hobos on me in a religious crusade the likes of which are disturbing and irritating to behold, and making my computer freeze... that asshole, I was just trying to save my report! He froze it right then! Couldn't have waited the .3 seconds for it to save, THEN craashed, no. That's not God's way.
...what an ass.
.....I never froze His computer or concealed groups of people from Him.
...I don't think there is anything wrong with seeming to never stop...like you just can't tell when one useless statement...is going to follow...another...forever...and ever.
But that's rather trite, isn't it? I suppose some of us like elipses because we feel grammatically superior enough to use them. What foolishness! And I daresay, I can't quit understand how someone on drugs could possibly be this witty and exacerbatingly cruel as Crush You. I think it probably takes some kind of mania to perceive the world this way. Don't get me wrong, I find that totally acceptable. The world needs more miscreants, in my meagre opinion. I'm just a wannabe.
I didn't get to the part with Johnny or Ellsworth, soul collector, as you say. I returned it already! I shall finish reading it though someday but as of right now the da vinci code and jane eyre are first.
Oh, and sorry Evan that I'm replying to Eric on your blog.
A mania? Or maybe I'm just seeing things the way they really are!
....or maybe it's a mania, ..yeah, probably a mania.
Hey Fritz, you're a probation officer, don't you usually hunt down and beat people like me?
((P.S. I had to look up trite because that word is really old! It was cool though, now I get to lord my newfound vocabulary over my foes... god, I need to find smarter ennemies.))
And Jennifer - I've done the same to you time and time again, I'm not enough of a hypocrite to hold that against you. Or well, I am, but in this case I don't care.
Oh yeah, something I forgot to include before. If you're really, ridiculously bored, here's the link to that freaky chick's blog (yes, the one that got eric all filled with the righteous indignation of god).
Hmm... I don't really get what the big deal about her blog is...
Yeah. EEric freaks out and goes all holy on me for no good reason, it's really terrible when he does that in public places cuz he carries this cross around and starts hitting me with it when I'm not even doing anything bad. And it's only me, too! Other people do actually bad things, and he comes down on ME with the hammer of god.
Oh, c'mon, at no point was I filled with any "righteous indignation of God"... if I were, I'd have type a lot more and I'd have been really, really mean. Like, insulting your mother mean. No... more like, insulting your nanna mean (thank you, Ali G). Mainly, I just wanted to say "may God have mercy on your soul" like I was an executioner or something, 'cause that's just awesome.
And dude, that only happened that one time, and it wasn't like I was carrying a crucifix with me or anything... you pissed me off and I happened to find one. Interesting side note: our Lord crucified makes a really good bludgeoning device in a pinch.
you like god.
=(
A lot.
Post a Comment
<< Home