Friday, May 06, 2005

Whoever keeps breaking my window (you know who you are) I'm going to hunt you down and kill you like a dog.

This is the coolest shit you will ever see in your life. No, really, I'm lying, I think I have a problem.

posted by ☭CRUSH you. at 10:46 AM

2 Comments:

Blogger ☭CRUSH you. said...

Their well-earned revenge cost me three fingers and a kneecap (and a kidney but I had two of those so I don't really care).
Revenge will be a dish best served in a coat made from baby dog hides.

My broken window evidence points at the (supposedly) dead pope, and I've never seen you lurking anywhere. I think you're trying to cover for him. You can't keep his dark, window-breaking hobby secret forever Jenniffer. I'll get him. You'll see. You'll all see.

15:25  
Blogger ☭CRUSH you. said...

Nahh... the mailman came by yesterday morning, and you know that expression, "Don't kill the messenger, just cut off his fingers one by one until he learns his lesson"? Well, he didn't bring me this package I wanted (which was not a box full of porn. I don't buy boxes full of porn. You should beleive me because of that whole trust thing we were building before.) so I decided that three fingers was enough to let him go. Then there was this one-legged cripple who came by and was all "Will you support the one legged cripple fund? We're cripples. We only have one leg and are usless to society." and I was like "...." then noticed his one good leg and kicked off his kneecap and was like "HEY DUDE YOU AREN'T TOTALLY USELESs thanks for the kneecap!" and I grabbed it and slithered off.

Adult hides make bigger coats but baby dog hides make softer ones, and it's the softness that counts in dead dogs. Unless they've been stuffed with explosives and are being used with makeshift catapults, but thats another matter altogether. ...or is it?
I am the stalker, not the stalkee, if you were stalking me I would definetely might have the potential to gain the semblence of a feeling that someone might be considering stalking me.
I'm real keen like that.

16:21  

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