jesus can you fly? no but i can jump really high
I saw jesus at the gas station.
He touched my arm and said, "go to the next pump, sir."
I asked, "Jesus?"
And he replied, "I'm not jesus."
And I said, "But you look like..." and motioned to his face.
Jesus self-consciously patted his chin, where stubble grew. He gained a dark look of shock.
Someone had recognized him through his poorly shaven disguise!
"I'm a woman!" He exclaimed.
"Haha, don't worry I won't tell nobody." I explained.
And I just left him there, with love in his eyes.
Or possibly it was fury.
He touched my arm and said, "go to the next pump, sir."
I asked, "Jesus?"
And he replied, "I'm not jesus."
And I said, "But you look like..." and motioned to his face.
Jesus self-consciously patted his chin, where stubble grew. He gained a dark look of shock.
Someone had recognized him through his poorly shaven disguise!
"I'm a woman!" He exclaimed.
"Haha, don't worry I won't tell nobody." I explained.
And I just left him there, with love in his eyes.
Or possibly it was fury.
posted by ☭CRUSH you. at 2:28 PM
6 Comments:
HAHAHAHA! Jesus is a chick. I knew it.
So would it be Jesusette?
A. I really like your poetry. You scumwad. That was awesome. And yes, Jesus would be a woman, wouldn't he? Wait a second...that's NOT RIGHT.
B. It is totally hilarious that you got spammed for lonliness on this post. My sides hurt. I am laughing so hard.
C. If Jesus did work at a gas station, right about now, this would be his parable:
"Come unto me, all ye that are heavy-taxed and I shall refresh you. For Exon's gas will only relieve you of temporary emptiness, but I will give you the gas that is everlasting."
I haven't laughed so hard for some time. You never cease to amaze me.
Have you even read my poem to you? You are so mean. You could so at least say SOMETHING. I mean, how many times has someone written an ode to you?
A. That's not poetry, just a story with fun breaks after every sentence... and geez. You always insult me. I'm only a kindly old man. Who also just so happens to be pure of heart and incredibly sexxxy... and I never ever lie, ever.
B. Without lady jesus, I must be very desparate and alone.
C. Haha. "Ye who loveth Jesus, buyeth unto thee a SUV of great calibre."
I so read your ode. Nobody ever wrote me an ode before. I was shocked, I panicked under pressure, I wanted to comment but couldn't.
Ticharu - The only reason it's small like that is because I want my readers to have bad eyes. Don't laugh too much, I hear it gives you cancerr.
Socio - Haha, you still like jesus.
Augh... my ticker...
Post a Comment
<< Home