an encounter of the midget kind.
I was wandering around the campus all "I'm WAY more badass than all of youz.", when this tiny little guy comes up to me! I thought he was a child at first, until I noticed the five-day-old shave and the bald spot. But he'd shaved his whole head, so I guess I wasn't supposed to notice that only parts of it had grown back.
he was hard to understand, because I'm not very fluent in Midget, but it turns out he was pissed because I hit on his girl. Me? Hit on someone's girl? Nosir. I explained it to him thusly: "you're obviously ... very short, and balding.. but I have no fucking clue what you're talking about." at which point he proceeded to kick me. IN THE SHINS. then he just ran off! asshole. I hate little people.
Yeah, so that was my day in a nutshell. if you're a midget and this has offended you, good. maybe next time you won't kick an innocent stranger in the shins and run off, you sadistically bite-sized miscreants.
he was hard to understand, because I'm not very fluent in Midget, but it turns out he was pissed because I hit on his girl. Me? Hit on someone's girl? Nosir. I explained it to him thusly: "you're obviously ... very short, and balding.. but I have no fucking clue what you're talking about." at which point he proceeded to kick me. IN THE SHINS. then he just ran off! asshole. I hate little people.
Yeah, so that was my day in a nutshell. if you're a midget and this has offended you, good. maybe next time you won't kick an innocent stranger in the shins and run off, you sadistically bite-sized miscreants.
posted by ☭CRUSH you. at 4:06 PM
15 Comments:
I don't speak midget.
that's great. but seriously, kicking you and running off, I think he is compensating for something. wonder what?
I bet he was compensating for a lack of love, I hear midgets are only short because god didn't like 'em enough to finish making the little buggers.
I think that's pretty shitty. I mean, midgets are obviously the works of satan himself. They freak me out. It's just not normal. I mean, that's why I hated the Wizard of Oz as a kid. Terrified me.
But I do have this one porn where this midget chick is getting banged by 4 normal sized guys at once. It's pretty entertaining.
Other than that, I hate them all.
You said miscreant. Rock. On.
The ones that really get to me are the dwarfs. They are always stealing my biscuits. I keep my biscuits in a warm place, and then the dwarfs steal them. And then I say, "They stole from me!" and I get slapped with a lawsuit for defamation of character, and stuff.
Oh come on... what's wrong with midgets? I love midgets! They're so cute! Sure... I guess they're kinda violent... and they don't really have any souls to speak of ('cause you know those little fuckers don't go to heaven)... but they're so little!
Miscreant is a cool word, but... what was the difference between midgets and dwarves? Are midgets the ones that have normal proportions but are really tiny, and dwarves are the short ones with the huge limbs and three rows of teeth? These terms always get me confused...
Well, the difference between midgets and dwarves is subtle. Y'see, there's no documented evidence that midgets actually exist. Dwarves, on the other hand, are seen all the time, and often mistaken for midgets because they are both very ugly. But in reality, dwarves are just short ugly people, while midgets... midgets have big, serrated fangs. They injecct their victims with a deadly cocktail of arsenic and Miller Light, so that they die painfully, and get just enough bitch-beer to remind them of being drunk, but not enough to distract from the fact that they are dying painfully.
Miller Light and Arsenic??
Jaysus H. I'm going to have nightmares now. I guess my small fear of dwarves is relatively pansy-ish.
Um, CRUSH? Socioclast tells me you are going into the medical field. Are you gonna get a psych test before? Just wondering.
You know, if I had been bright enough to get through all that orgo and chem and crap, I would have been a mortician.
Dead people are nice and quiet. And beautiful, but not in a sexy way. Just beautiful.
I already indirectly told you I was, a while ago, don't you remember georgespider-o?
But no. Psych tests are not mandatory. It was mostly just, I had to get my rabies shots (apparently they don't want me to bite their patients) and my... uhhh... everything else shots, then they checked my newly cleaned criminal record, I'd already slept with the personell manager, and now I'm officially working at the hospital. Although it'll be another few years before they let me slice 'n' dice patients, there's a buncha comatose people, so I mean, what're they gonna do, wake up in the middle of the operation?
hahaha... don't think I'm crazy or anything, they're braindead so it's okay.
...the first position they offered me was as a surgical assistant.
Anyone can get through the chemistry and biology and all that jazz, some people just need to have the right friends to study with or they're fucked. Also, you can get screwed if you have little money/a bad credit history. Giving up is what really kills ya.
...necropheliac! he says in a declarative but not neccessarily negative way.
It scares me that you are smart and crazy.
It scares me like watching a good horror movie.
No wonder I didn't go pre-med. I didn't have any friends.
I'm kidding. I hung out with the dead.
(Please ignore the avatar changes. I'm going through a transition.)
Necrophelia... Lay back and crack open a cold one.
I'm thinking the midget's carried him away...
Hey.
I totally commented on your myspace blog that was pretty much word for word to this one. So, I should get my link back! :)
Oh yeah... I forgot to tell you all that ☭CRUSH died like half a month ago.
Have a good one!
No he didn't. He had the shit beaten out of him by a swarm of midgets. I seen it on the news. It was kinda funny.
For real though, what happened to him?
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